Article by Jimmy Plant
I am a very logical person and I really dislike anything supernatural or metaphysical. I am more into things I can see and touch, such as car parts and engines. My roomate Joe on the other hand, is the exact opposite. While I’ll be restoring my latest beloved muscle car, Joe will be researching some new mystical art or ancient mystery.
His latest obsession was stage magic and he began practicing it with gusto. Last week, he tried to impress me with his newest tricks.
“Take note, oh simpleminded audience,” he said flourishing his arms, “that there is nothing up my sleeves.”
“What about that pulley system?” I pointed out after noticing some suspicious wires. “And that hidden deck of cards, and… my god! Is that a dove?”
“Squeaky!” screamed Joe, and he shook his sleeve until the body of his dove fell out with a thud. Unfortunately, poor Squeaky had suffocated in Joe’s armpit–not a good way to go by any means…
Joe was feeling remorseful, so after the funeral, we decided to go to see a real magic show in Squeaky’s honor.
“It’s what he would’ve wanted,” said Joe, “After all, he lay down his life in service to the craft.”
We hopped into my restored ’65 Corvette Stingray and moseyed down to the magical theatre. Inside, it was dark and packed with people. They had all come to see the Great Magnifico, who was in town for one night only.
Magnifico stepped onstage, dressed in a flowing cape and top hat. He began his act by pulling a mile of colored scarves out of his throat.
“Yawn!,” I shouted, “It’s been done!”
Magnifico scowled and moved on to his next trick, the Chinese linking rinks.
“You suck!” I bellowed, “Boo! Boo!”
Magnifico scowled harder at me and announced that it was time for his final act. He clapped his hands and a lion appeared onstage, prowling around. Magnifico covered the beast with a cloth and shouted the magic word. There was a huge puff of smoke and lights. When the smoked cleared, the audience cheered loudly, for there, onstage, was a ’65 Corvette Stingray–my Stingray! And the lion was in the driver’s seat, revving the engine!
Magnifico clapped his hands again and the lion floored the gas, driving around the stage madly and roaring in triumph.
“Magnifico!” I shouted, “This time you’ve gone too far!” And I raced out of my seat and toward the stage.
But Magnifico was one step ahead of me, and he called out to the lion. “Simba, attack!”
I took a flying leap onto the stage while the lion flew at me. We met in mid air and fought fiercely. But, we finally agreed to a draw and went our separate ways…
As we drove home, Joe said it was the greatest magic show he had ever witnessed. I was still not impressed with the magical arts, but I was glad to get my Corvette back.
I feel bad that my car had to go through that terrible ordeal. I’m going to reward it with one of those B&I Wood Dash Kits and some other accessories. I’ll also buy some seat covers and floormats in addition to the wood dash kits…
About the Author
just a dude interested in cars…
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